This is what I heard a complete stranger say today at the park, "She's not a REAL mom until she has had a boy...look at her, she only has girls...how easy!" (By the way, the lady was not talking about me, she was talking about some other mom who was carrying her 3 girls to her car.)
Is she serious?
I didn't realize that it took having a male child to be considered an actual mother. *****I would like to finish this post without anyone thinking that I am about to give away the sex of my next child...there is still a good chance it is either a boy or girl (apparently if it is a boy I am on my way to true motherhood-let's keep our fingers crossed!)*** I simply took offense to this comment because currently, I am a mom to only a girl.
Back in the early '90's I enjoyed a show called "Sister's" (pictured above). For anyone else who ever saw this show, you know that having all girls is indeed not an easy task. These girls were crazy and the situations they found themselves in were interesting to say the least. I'm sure the parents of these girls never thought their life was "easy".
While driving home from the park, I was able to think of a list of reasons why being a parent to a girl (or all girls) is not easier in the long run. Oh, sure, they might be easier in the younger years. They might not be as rambunctious as boys, might not break as many bones, probably won't climb as many things or throw balls through windows, but that doesn't mean that girls are easier for life.
- Attitude...how many boys do you know that gave their parents the "look" (all you girls know which one I am referring to). That look that you give your parents when you think they are so stupid and have not a brain cell in their head.
- Clothes...it is going to be a fight, probably, that will last many, many seasons. I can already tell you that in our house, Matthew is going to "be the bad guy" because he will not let Nora walk out of the house past puberty with any skin showing. And I am all for that! But what will Nora probably do? She will be hiding clothes (or makeup or some other "forbidden" luxury) in her backpack and once she gets to school, will go to the girls room and slip them on and return to her "hideous" clothes before she comes home for the day.
- Puberty...okay, I know that both boys and girls go through this one...but really, I think this is going to be harder on girls and their moms. (I would like to refer back to the bullet "attitude", usually this is when it will kick in). All of a sudden her body is changing. EVERYTHING is changing! And it is just around the time when she becomes aware of boys and that they are no longer disgusting.
- Crying...and crying and crying. I'm just waiting for Nora to come home from junior high and tell me that her best friend from yesterday just stole her boyfriend from last week and they are telling EVERYONE at school that she still sleeps with her pink blanket AND HER LIFE IS RUINED!!!!!! Please, please, please don't make her go back to school, ever! Yeah, I'm looking forward to that. How many boys do you know that actually make a big deal about stuff like that? No, they are more like, "Hey, I have a football game Friday night."
- Dating (and learning to say NO!)...a talk and task that I am sure Matthew and I would rather not have to go through. But, that is liking wishing the sky were green all the time-it's not going to happen. As parents of a girl, we are going to have to start sharing important information with her early on. She is special, God has already picked out the perfect husband for her, wait for marriage-it is the greatest gift you can ever give your husband, look for qualities that your dad has in the boys that you go out with...(do you think it is wrong for us to just forbid her to ever date?).
- The wedding...last time I checked, the bill primarily fell in the laps of the bride.
Okay, I could go on and on. I would like to find that mom in a few years (the one with the 3 girls) and find out how she is doing. She will probably be about ready to pull her hair out because all 3 of her girls smarted off to her several times during the day, one has cried that her mom never lets her do anything, one of the others is fighting with her sister because it is her turn to wear the white shirt, and the last is talking non-stop on the phone to her boyfriend.
Oh, and where will I find the mom that made the ugly statement at the park this afternoon? Waking her teenage son up at noon so that he can mow the lawn, take the trash out, paint the shed, and play video games. I really think in the long run, they might be easier...maybe one day soon I will have an opportunity to compare my girl and my boy...or I might be "saddled" with all girls and never get to experience the true meaning of motherhood. We'll see...
15 comments:
I think girls are harder, actually. I'm scared of them...yikes...mostly because I just know I'll give her some kind of complex over something...weight, artistic ability, fat ankles, something....
I believe girls are MUCH more difficult than boys! After reading your post I am glad to have 2 loud, gross, and stinky boys. Good luck Dallas!
Okay, so are you having another girl?
JULIE W
No, it's a boy......either way, it's healthy :)
Oh, yes, it's a girl
wait, it's a boy :)
As a mom of three girls, I have to say that life is drama with a capital D around here. I have daughters who like to change multiple times a day (including hairdos and shoes for each outfit), daughters that "mother" each other, girls that secretly get the fingernail polish out and open it attempting to paint their nails, "Hello Kitty" body glitter statshed on their nightstand table, and a 5 year old daughter that literally said afterschool one day, "Mom, I feel like crying and I don't even know why." I told her that she would probably feel that way many times in her life.
And yet, with all of the hormones, tears, bossy voices, and games of "family" and "school", these girls are a blessing!
I am sure boys are such a blessing too...not that we will be discovering this firsthand in our family!
We can't wait to hear the sex of that sweet, healthy baby of yours!
This is a comment that someone said to me awhile back "You are not a real mom until you have two or three kids." Needless to say I took offense to that!!
My answer to ones who talk without thinking - is that I am a mom it is just Different! The trend here is two or three kids per family. That will not be our family - we are just different. We will also never have a boy. It is just different not wrong! All children will have difficult times in their lives when they will drive their parents nuts!
So to say that you are not a real mother until you have a boy is just absurd! Is this a statement she would have said to her mother? "You are not a mom because you had me?"
All children are gifts from God no matter the sex. He gave each of them persoanlities and they are all made in His image and so are the MOTHERS!
Sorry for the long comment - stuff like this just irritates me! Some people need to take their blinders off and open their minds that families are different. And truthfully THANK GOODNESS we are!
Oh I could not figure out the sex of the baby from your post!
Okay, those women are so nuts....As the mom of 2 girls and 1 boy, they are all hard and all different. If you tell me boys are easier, I can tell you 10 ways that they are harder and the same goes with girls. They are KIDS! If it were that easy, we would all have 10 kids, and I can assure you, that will not happen in our family.
I love the way that God created every child different and unique. There is a little baby boy at church and he and Parker were born on the exact same day, about 4 hours apart. They couldn't be any more opposite....Parker is crawling, trying to walk (any day now...) and talks all the time. The other little boy sits quietly in his mom's lap every Sunday, doesn't peep and could care less about crawling let alone walking. There is not a thing wrong with him, they are just different. Same with boys and girls...I love being a mom to both. Even if I had never had little Parker, I would have been just as happy to be the mother of just girls...I'm just thankful to be called a mother....some women never have that chance.
Sorry to rant, Dallas. I just cannot believe some of the silly things that people say outloud sometimes....of course, I've said some pretty stupid stuff in my time, but really....you aren't a mother until you have a boy...that is just downright silly.
As a non-mommy (yet anyway), I have to say that a mom to any sex has to be the most difficult job in the world!! As one of 2 girls, I certainly will say that my mom had a verrrry hard time (still does sometimes.)
Wait, did I say any sex, I guess that should be either sex.
Ha! I can't believe someone said that! The nerve! Since I am only a mother of a little girl (9 months in on this gig, as well) I have no idea what it is like to have boys but I can definetely tell you I am fearing the teeny bopper girl stage more than the terrible twos, potty training, or first days of school. I have a feeling I'm going to get paybacks from all the drama I gave my parents back in the day.
I do get told already that my child is so easy because she is a girl. Maybe there is something to do with that, maybe not but its still annoying to hear.
God gives ya only what u can handle so I guess this lady must not be able to "handle" girls! Ha!
Oh & I loved that show-Sisters! It made me want lots of sisters and to shorten my name to a boys name.
Amen to all the comments. Parenting is just difficult and challenging at times regardless of the sex!
haha! what a great post and what an ignorant mom at the park! here's hoping for your baby boy, so that you can finally become a "REAL" mom! ;)
I can't believe she said that. Being a mom is a tremendous blessing and responsibilty and to say a mom of one sex or another is just ridiculous.
I loved Sisters too. It was a great show. I am glad your baby is healthy, whatever sex he/she is. And your family and all our familes are perfect, because that is family God gave us.
I think in the early years boys can be a great challenge (not to say girls aren't)! I have said many times over the past year "I am glad I don't have a girl yet" Not because I don't want a daughter, but because I am not prepared! I already have nightmares about the teenage years of a girl and I don't even have one:). Bailey is a wonderful, difficult, stubborn child. Not because he is a boy, but because he is a child!
hahahaha! what an idiot! (the lady in the park) sorry, but who openly says such judgemental, closed minded things like that ?? nice. I also hate all this pressure for us to have one sex or the other. I believe I am putting alot of it on myself, but seriously, I think girls are harder, and I, frankly, am scared of them, for the simple fact I know there will be heck to pay if I ever have one. Its karma. ;)
No way! She did NOT say that! That is so tacky and untrue. I was so relieved that Ranger was a boy b/c of the easiness of it. I will be a little stressed if this is a girl. Kudos to moms of girls!
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