No, the title of this post is not my current clothing size...(I'm laughing out loud right now). This post is all about numbers of kids.
While in Nashville this past weekend, my friends who have more than one child were asking, "Was it harder to go from no kids to one kid or from one kid to two kids?". They all agreed that it was more difficult going from one to two. (Except for the one girl who has 3, then she said going from 2 to 3 was hardest of all.)
WHAT!!!!!!??????
Already I am anxious about becoming a mother of TWO in 8.5 short weeks (and they are very, very short!!!! The time is flying by!). My sweet "angel" has been having fun at my expense lately. She thinks it is very fun to throw herself down onto the floor if she does not get what she wants immediately. Grrrrrrrr. Each time this happens (and it is several times a day), I either: ignore the action, remove her to her bed, swat her hand and firmly tell her no, or redirect her to something else. Sometimes it is a combo of all four. But, each time it happens, I think to myself, "And I am about to add a poor infant into this craziness!". I do realize she is simply being a toddler and this stage will pass, but it still leaves me a little weary thinking about the upcoming months.
So, to all of you experienced mothers (or fathers) who have more than one child, tell me some secrets to sanity. The only "secret" I am familiar with is praying. Also, tell me, is it really more difficult going from 1 to 2? If so, why????
Thanks! I am not afraid to ask for help/advice! Anything to make me a better mommy.
This picture has nothing to do with the post, but it is sweet. Tonight at dinner, Nora really wanted to hold my hand. She held it and would rub her face up to it for about 10 minutes. Do you think she realizes that our time just to be together is coming to an end? I love my little girl!
10 comments:
You are such a great mom to Nora and I have no doubt your new baby will be equally blessed! I have no advice to offer, being a mother of one. However, my sister-in-law is a new mother of two and at first it was hard because the kids would sleep at different times and she couldn't lay the baby down for fear big brother would be too aggressive. But now he is GREAT with her and very gentle. Everthing will fall into place!
(I had to repost this...I accidentally hit "post" before I was ready. Oops!)
It is harder going from 1 to 2. I think part of ours was that Seth was such a different baby than Sam -- for some reason, I thought I was going to be an 'ole pro the 2nd time around, and wouldn't you know, he came out totally different and I was back to being a first time mom again (liked to eat differently, sleep differently, schdeule differently, etc.)! It seemed like with Sam, we just brought him along with the life we were leading, but once Seth arrived, scheduling just got harder for our family (and there is a lot more laundry with two little kids instead of one!). I remember my mom coming after Seth was born and taking Sam home with her for a few days. I couldn't believe how easy it was just to take care of newborn Seth only -- it was a vacation and I wondered why I needed so much help from her when Sam was born!
No worries though...you will do absolutely fine!
Prayer is certinly more frequent- more often like- "Lord, please keep me from beating my child". I just have to remind myself that He will not give me anything I can't handle. I too, thought that the infant mothering would come right back- nursing, how to hold, change a diaper/clothes, etc but it did take a couple of weeks to become comfortable with it all again. The things I have found different with two are- sickness, I was just a complete wreck when Elan got his first cold after Emery was born. Trying to keep him away from her, etc, etc- I just had to let it go- I was making everyone miserable and babies are generally immune to the bad stomach bugs at least while they're tiny and I figured she would get her first cold soon enough. And worrying about her waking Elan up at night- luckly that never really happened! Also, she has not been introduced to things like- Baby Einstein DVD's, her activity mat, etc for several reasons- she's so entertained by her big brother so doesn't need the extra stimulation and there's really no laying her on the activity mat for fear that her big brother might "accidently" step/kick/lay on her, etc. Each baby is so different and you will love being blessed by two healthy babies!
Let's see...hmmmmm. I didn't think going from 2 kids to 3 kids was necessarly harder, you just don't have an extra (or 3rd parent) to hold that 3rd child, so it's just the juggling and giving everyone "their time"...I think they are all just different. You are on the right track. Prayer is the way to go...of course, before Grace was born, I prayed, "Lord, please give me patience with my new little one" Grace is a redhead. So, God gave me a reason to practice my patience EVERY DAY!!! Susie is the most low key child (well, so is Parker)...I just think that you learn so much with the first one that the other too don't seem so hard. You have a great husband and I know that ya'll will do great with 2...being laid back and going with the flow has surely made a difference with us...Your babies love you and you love them, teach them to love God and the rest is just peanuts! You are a great mama!!
I enjoyed reading your previous blog! What a fun group and what a fun weekend! It was great to see those girls...I'm glad you posted the part about the waitress being in the pic...I was wondering who in the world had changed so much that I didn't recognize her!
I have to disagree with most everyone else. Going from 1 to 2 was WAY easier for me than going from 0 to 1. I felt so clueless the first time around and worried about every little thing that came up. When I had my second baby, I was much more relaxed and felt like I had some idea of what I was doing. I also knew that even if I didn't do something just perfectly with her that she would survive and wouldn't be scarred for life. I remember being so tired with Will and thinking that it was so much harder than I thought it would even be. With Lauren I thought, this is hard...but it will pass! She will eventually stop crying 2 1/2 hours every night! And she did and now is as easy as can be. Don't get me long, life is a lot more hectic with two; but for me, it was a much easier adjustment. Pretty soon, you will be looking at both of your kiddos and realizing what a blessing it is to have two beautiful, healthy children. Good luck! :)
I forgot to mention another thing that made it easier the second time around. Scheduled c-section=WAY better than non-scheduled! Recovery was a piece of cake.
Those pictures of Nora holding your hand are very sweet.
I'm not just saying this to make you feel better but I think going from one to two was easier than going from zero to one. You will see this positive as they get a bit older - but they have each other to play with. This gives you a little bit more freedom to get things done around the home. I know you see Nora as your baby girl and she always will be but after the baby is born you will see her take on a new roll - big sister. She is going to act like a little mommy and truly believe she is the babies second mommy. It is very sweet. One more thing -try not to stress out about how Nora is going to take everything once the baby is born. Children are so much more resilient than we give them credit for.
Now going from two to three is a whole different story...
Dallas, I have no doubt that you guys are going to do great as a family of four. I, too, thought the actual taking care of the baby was much easier the second time around. It all seemed to go by so quickly, and I remember thinking, What in the world was so hard about having a baby the first time?! I enjoyed the babyhood experience more the second time because, like Jean said, I wasn't scared about messing things up.
What I remember being hard at the beginning with two was the logistics --trying to get things done or go places with two. It literally took me two hours from the point I thought I was ready to go to the point of actually leaving. I would remember one more thing I needed and after doing that a couple of times, changing the baby's overflowing poopy diaper, and getting the crying toddler a snack, the window of time between feedings had ended and I'd have to nurse and THEN jump in the car to get out.
The other hard part for me was taking care of a toddler (and baby -- but like I said, really the baby was easy) on little sleep. I couldn't just lay down and sleep like I could with Caden. Sometimes I did -- I would put on a movie for Caden and get an extra nap during the day. The good thing is that (hopefully!) the nursing in the middle of the night won't last TOO long...
SO my advice is just to keep expectations of yourself low and to enjoy the time you have to spend with each child. It's okay if Nora watches a few more videos in the first couple of months...it's okay to stay home more...it's okay to have a messy house (it will take a while to get a routine in place or to get a whole load of laundry folded, etc.)...
Also, I'd suggest trying to find some fun things that Nora can do next to you while you nurse this baby since that takes up so much of your time in those early days. I started early on by reading books to Caden while I nursed Chase, so whenever I needed to feed him, I would have to turn down whatever he asked me to do and say, "But I could read you a few books..." or play with puppets or something similar.
I really enjoy having two now. (This is turning into something very long.) I take my shower while Dave is still home in the morning or when I put Chase down for his morning nap (earlier on I could put him in his swing or bouncy seat in the bathroom with me so I could keep an eye on him). And so much of the time the boys play together that I don't find myself AS busy although if someone peeked in on my life (as any mother of two young ones would be), they would see that I'm constantly multitasking...
That's enough from me -- I've loved having my blog so that I can throw a question out like this and hear from other moms, so you know that even after the baby comes, you can always ask about something that comes up and we'll all pitch in!
oh goodness! I hear ya, girl. great post, because now im reading everyone's answers. ;) I need all the advice I can get, too! you'll adapt, just like you did with one. (at least I keep telling MYSELF that...)
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