The ugly side of running

Bear with me as I venture into a side of blogging that I rarely go.

A side that is embarrassing.

Oh sure, I am honest on my blog, I get comments about that all the time.

But I'm honest about my parenting and how it daily kicks my butt.

Rarely am I honest about embarrassing things.

Glad you dropped by today for the post. It's a milestone.

If you don't like to read about things that might potentially cause you some discomfort, then stop reading.

If you get great joy out of the trials and tribulations of others, then this post is for you.

As many of you know, I have been training for a 1/2 marathon. And it hurts!

When I ran my 1/2 marathons a few years ago, I was a few pounds (okay, 20) lighter. It's not fun hauling around all this extra weight. I keep running in hopes that I will drop the pounds on the side of the road and then my load will be...well, lighter.

Also, when I was training before I didn't have kids which made finding the time to train MUCH, MUCH, MUCH easier! I have been hitting the road after Matthew gets home or, as I did today, in the heat of the afternoon. I have also had to do a good deal of running on the treadmill. Boring!

These two factors have made the training less enjoyable and more difficult.

But I'm not giving up! I am determined to cross that finish line in December.

Although the extra weight that I am carrying around and the lack of time to train might not hinder my running, this next issue will almost certainly squelch my dream.

Here it is folks...the embarrassing part...

Lack of bladder control.

Oh. My. Goodness. It's a serious problem.

Before I had kids I used to laugh at friends who would talk about how having kids ruined their bladders. Now, I am one of those people.

I cannot run over 3 miles without having to pee.

I could have gone to the bathroom immediately before leaving for a run and it still doesn't matter, my bladder is screaming at me.

The worst part, I am usually running through neighborhoods when the urge hits. And most of the neighborhoods don't have Port-A-Potties on the corners.

(I am really revealing a lot about myself in this post...oh how I want to quit writing, my face is getting red and I am getting a little shaky. But in the interest of getting some sympathy, I will press on)

When the urge hits, my brain immediately starts going into overdrive and shouting at my bladder to get control. Imagine a drill sergeant yelling at his boot camp boys..."You better not leak! Get some control RIGHT NOW!!!! What are you? Two-years-old? I don't want to hear it...get control and keep it! Don't even think about or will you be on KP for the rest of this week!!!! Do you hear me??"

It's kind of like that.

But, my bladder is the boot camp boy who failed and was sent home before the training was even over. It leaks.

How embarrassing.

I know I have many, many lurkers out there. I am told all the time, "Hey, I read your blog." Well, great, that's just great. I'm glad I provide reading pleasure for you, I really am.

But, now, I need something from you. Are you a mom who has weak bladder control during physical activity? (thank goodness my bladder still has control during everyday things...thank goodness) Well, if you are, please lie to me and tell me it will get better.

Please.

If you are not one of those who lies, then tell me the truth. The awful truth.

Am I always going to leak?

It's so embarrassing.

I know each car I pass while I am running knows my secret. And they are laughing.

And it's okay if you are too. It's funny, just not very comfortable.

I think one of my next blogs will be all about the many ways these kids altered my body and functions.

It will be a very long post.