Happy 300th post Blogger!

Happy 300th post Blogger-land...glad to have you here. I've decided I'm not transferring to another "carrier" and am sticking with Blogger. And now without further ado...

My body...after babies:

(Disclaimer...if you have never had babies and have a fairytale/Demi Moore idea of what will happen to your body after you deliver your cherub, please STOP reading...if you are a man (although, I think only two men actually read this) and you are single/married without children STOP reading because I don't want to put an image in your head that might keep you from wanting your lovely wife from having children later on...if you are a woman who is pregnant, had kids, or NEVER wants kids...this is for you. Read on.)

My body has changed over the years.

When I was born, I weighed 9lbs. 6oz (I know! I was huge!).

While growing up, I wore "slim" jeans...I was pretty skinny.

When I was in junior high, I peaked at 5ft. 3in.

When I was in high school, I was pretty average. I just wanted to blend in and look like everyone else. Thankfully, I did. Well, except for the super skinny ones, I didn't look like them.

When I was in college, I gained the "Freshman 15" and never really lost it while in college. Sigh.

When I was an "adult" I discovered running and lost that Freshman 15 plus some. And, for the first time in my life, I LOVED shopping for clothes. The clothes that I wore had only ONE digit on the tag and it was a small digit.

And my body stayed that way for about 5 years.

Then, I got pregnant.

Then, I got pregnant again.

From top of my head to the tip of my toes, here is how my body has changed.

Hair...About 209 million hairs fall out of my head on a daily basis. I'm not kidding either. Instead of doing "Locks of Love" I think I should just collect all of the hair that falls out of my head and I could send in weekly donations. I'm amazed that I have any hair left.

Brain...I've lost my mind. I think when I delivered Nora I lost half of my mind and when I delivered Elyn I lost the other half. I'm waiting to have a third baby because I am trying to build up a little bit of brain again. When lecturing in my classes, I cannot count the number of times I am mid-sentence and simply cannot think of the next word. I'm sure my students think I am uneducated. I lose things ALL THE TIME. I used to pride myself on my memory...not anymore! I cannot remember anything. If I go to the grocery store without a list, I will leave with 20 things...20 things I don't need. I feel the need to put things in my cart because I don't want someone to see me walking aimlessly, empty-handed, and say, "Oh, look at that poor girl...she has never been grocery shopping before and obviously this is too much for her." It's bad!

Skin...Amazingly, my skin has not become too hindered. Oh sure, the circles under my eyes are darker than they used to be; my eyelids aren't as firm (I blame age and gravity); and my ability to tan instantly is no longer there...but overall, things are about the same. The only truly noticeable difference is the moles. Did you know that when you are pregnant, your belly (and hips, thighs, butt, legs, etc) is not the only thing that grows? So do your moles. I have one on my shoulder that grows with each pregnancy. It's annoying and when I am done making babies, I will have it removed pronto.

Ears...I can pick out Nora or Elyn's cry from a crowd. Easily. My ability to hear them cry or shout while in a large group is nothing short of a super-power. I should be Super Dallas or WonderMom and my special power would be supersonic hearing. But, my skill is limited. I cannot hear whining. It's amazing, this power of mine. And, on occasion, in the middle of the night, when one of the girls is crying, I lose all power to hear and have to rely on my sidekick to get out of bed and see what is going on. It's a tricky thing, that super-power.

Boobs...(I feel the need to put a disclaimer up again. I will not be holding back any. So, quit reading if you don't want to know about what has happened to my "girls". Don't worry, I won't get too graphic.) So sad. This is the saddest part of my body. They have been "worker boobs" for my children. For 11 months each. Bras MUST have underwire and MUST have padding. I have a wide range of bras in my lingerie drawer. WIDE. I know I should probably go and get professionally fitted, but I am embarrassed for the saleslady to say, “You need a 34 B long” or “Let’s go to the shriveled section”. I don’t think my ego could handle that right now. I would definitely spend money to put things back where they belong!

Heart…or maybe I should say “emotions”. I’m not a big crier. I never really have been either. Well, let me have a kid and the floodgates open wide up! After Nora was born, I was a basket case! The first day Matthew went back to work after she was born, he called me on his break. He told me he had stopped by the Donut Store and gotten a few dozen donuts and put a sign on them that said, “Enjoy, from a new dad”. Guess what I did when he told me that? Cried like I had just lost an arm. When Elyn was born, he went to the grocery store a few days after we came home from the hospital and picked up a few things. He came home and said, “Hey, I got that bread that you liked.” That statement sent me into a crying frenzy. I now have the ability to cry easily. But only in the privacy of my own house. I’m still not a public crier.

Waist/stomach…I think I mentioned that the boobs were the saddest part of my body. I was mistaken. Waist/stomach is tied for worst part. Slowly but surely I am getting my waist back. When Nora was about 11 months old, I felt like I had my old body back. I could wear most of my pre-pregnancy clothes and enjoyed shopping. After I had Elyn, I thought, well, give it 11 months and things will be back to normal. Not the case this time. I am FINALLY starting to see some improvements, but, my friends, they are SLLLLLOOOOWWW in coming. I can deal with my waist being MIA, thanks to the current fashion trend of loose fitting shirts (thank you designers!), but it is my stomach that is the most distressing. I obviously understand how gravity works (see “Boobs”), but must it really take all of the extra skin in my midsection and help it pool at the bottom of my torso? Sara Blakely was super-duper smart when she invented Spanx! Smart girl, that Sara. Again, if money were available in mass quantities, I would like to empty the “pool” and flatten things out.

Legs…My legs haven’t changed considerably but I have gotten some extra color on them. What is that color? Purple. Ahhh, one of my favorite colors. It’s especially pretty when it looks like a little spider has been walking over my legs after it stepped on an inkpad. I just have a few new color splotches on my legs, but what brought them on? Yep, pregnancy.

Feet…What size shoe do you wear? 8. Always an 8. Always. Until I had Elyn. Now, “What size shoe do you wear?” Ummm, 8.5. So many cute pairs of size 8 shoes sit in my closet. I still cram my feet into though. What kind of gal do you think I am? I’m not about to let fancy shoes go unworn. Seriously.

So, there you go. Just a few ways my body has altered over the past 3 ½ years.

But, I wouldn’t change it. My sweet napping girls are worth all of the shifting body parts, discoloring on my legs, underwire bras, and blisters on my feet. Do I miss the elasticity? Yep. Do I miss the low-single-digit clothing? Yep. Do I miss quiet afternoons? Nope. Do I miss sitting on the couch with no little bodies in my lap? Nope. Do I miss listening to music without dancing around the living room twirling a little girl? Nope.

The body changes are worth the babies.