Friday, January 12, 2007


I long to be a friend of my daughter.

I think it is so important, the mother/daughter relationship.

I want to be the friend she goes to when she is 16 and some awful boy has just broken her heart; I want to be the friend she goes to when she is 8 and the really mean girl in her 3rd grade class just made fun of her because she got glasses the day before; I want to be her friend when she is 5 and her teacher says, "Who is your best friend?", and without hesitating, she says, "My mommy!"; I want to be her friend in high school when she is feeling pressure-either from a boy to "take it to the next level" or a group of friends who want her to try (insert drug or alchol here)-and she comes to me to talk about it; I want to be her friend when she gets to college and she is overwhelmed with classes/friendships/late nights/serious relationships that she calls home just to chat and get some advice; I want to be her friend when she gets her first job and calls me to tell me all about her first day; I want to be her friend when she is about to walk down the aisle and she lets me hug her a little bit longer than usual and neither of us want to let go; I want to be her friend in the delivery room when she holds her baby and looks at me and understands how much I love her.

I realize that with having a daughter I also have a lot of potential for serious arguments, stubbornheadedness, slamming of doors, talking back, crying fits, etc. I know all of this because I was once prone to such behaviors (I still do have some of those bad qualities). I also know that my job, as a mother, is to be the "adult", the caregiver, the disciplinarion, the "last say" (of course, all of these will be shared responsibilities with Matthew, but as a stay at home mom, I will have to do many of these during the day, while he is away). We won't always be best friends...I am not that naive. God has given me the gift of a daughter and the challenge of a daughter.
I pray to Him daily that he will grant me wisdom to know how to balance the want of being her friend and the need of being her mother. I pray that He will bless our relationship and grow us both, so that one day, many years from now, when she has her own baby, she will be able to look at me and know the overwhelming love that I have for her each and every second.


Ashley said...

You will be, Dallas. Look at the example you had. I always admired your mom and the relationship you and Marty had with her. Does your mom know how cool I think she is? I remember every year on Valentine's day at HU you sharing your Godiva chocolates with us! I love it that your mom gave you froo froo chocolates on that dreaded day to emphasize how special you were to her. It inspired me to start that tradition with my daughters should I have them. I'm prone to thinking of myself as the "Mother of Boys". I hope I'm wrong, because I would love the Mother-Daughter relationship, too.

Jim and Sara said...

I pray for that mother/daughter relationship as well. I've always been close to my mom, so I'm excited to share a friendship with Laura.


Supabloggasuprememama said...

what a wonderful entry. I want the same relationship with aiden, though I know it will be a little different. I cant even stand the idea of him dating. uuuggghhhh. that is so sweet, though!

Kimberly said...

I know we don't know eachother but I just had to comment on this blog because it brought tears to my eyes! It was written so elequently and I could relate to it so much. I've just recently had a little girl and I also have the same desire for a close mother/daughter relationsip with
her. I felt like you were taking the words from my heart!
I found your blog through Kristen's and hope you don't mind me reading. I knew Marty at Harding. Is she your sister? Tell her hi from Kim Rampey.

Heather said...

I love this entry. I hope I can have a wonderful mother/daughter or mother/son relationship someday with my own children. Enjoy your life with Nora.

Julie said...

I have no doubt you will have that relationship with Nora. You are such a wonderful mother and I know that she will grow to understand your love for her.

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